up late, craving lists, here we go.

1) the best thing about living with Kevin's parents for four and a half months was the relationships I came out with after. Call me selfish if you must, but I find myself thankful for, and blessed by the raw relationship his mom and I formed, and that's nice. I don't know what made me think of that... So random, I know! But it's so very nice to have such loving, goofy, supportive people that just jumped right in to my corner. From day 1.

2) Briggs is seriously huge. And pretty much as cute as they come.

3) Kayla is the perfect mix of all the right things... She is so stinkin sassy, and she's WILD. And she's kinda mouthy sometimes, and she talks... A LOT. But... She's also really funny. And she soaks up my love. She's sweet too- she gave me a kiss on the shoulder when we got in the car today. She's verrrrryyy smart, but her attention span only lasts about a half uh second. She's declared her decision to grow her hair out as long as rapunzle's time and time again, and I think thats funny. She looooves her baby cousin, and is sweetest, and calmest when she's holding her. She's got some challenges when it comes to listening, but she kinda giggles and takes it in stride when you have to correct her. She's bossy, and creative, and just perfection. I love that about her. Individually, each characteristic could seem daunting I know, but add them all together and you've got my little Kayla bug. I really love her.

4) sometimes I wonder if maya angelou and I could ever be best friends. How can I make that happen?

5) oh! And my oldest brother Aaron met a girl. Her name is Laura, and she seems to really love him. This makes me happy because he's seriously one of the very best guys I know. And I always knew he would find someone special. Have I mentioned he can cook? OMG.

6) Bristol Anne is turning FOUR this month! Uhhhhhh.... Can we see "woah?" All together now, "woah." I can't believe that she's like a grown adult in dog years. No wonder she gets tired of brigg's puppy antics.

7) I know that I'm a real adult because I'm awake and up by 8am every Saturday. It's so sad. I can't figure out how that happened.

8) Kevin's brother in law made some bomb.com tacos tonight, and I wish I had had another. Mannnn.... Those were delish!

9) I found out this week that my family might be proud of who I've become. It was a really good feeling. But let's not jump the gun... Anything could happen!

10) oh! We are back in our own little place again, and it's so fun! We moved July 1, and sheesh! The place has transformed in just a matter of weeks. It's a nice feeling to be so satisfied with just what you need. I can remember having everything.... Waaayyyy more than I needed. Then I lost it all, and realized its better to be happy with just what you need. And I am. We live on a tiny little town home that's already been filled with memories, and I'm so happy. What more could I ask for? I'm just where I should be, and life is good.

3.1.

becoming an auntie and falling in love with kevin are the two best things about my year spent being 30.

my nephew has my heart in a way no other man ever has. i have never known a love like i have for him, and im lovin it. quinn is hands down- the cuh-yutest baby boy i have ever ever ever seen. his chubby cheeks make me smile. he makes me wanna be a better me. i cant wait to spend my whole life loving him, and spoiling him rotten. when i waited for him to come, if ever i felt a little lost or off track, he gave me purpose. he gave me what i needed to look forward to. when he arrived, it was the very best day of my life. he is the best thing that ever happened to me. i love, love, love him. i cant wait to spend my life showing him that i would do anything... anything at all, to see him smile.

falling in love with kevin was all the right things. exciting, nerve racking, fun, and so, so, so sweet. i love kevin because he is the nicest man ive ever met. he too- challenges me to be a better me. he is so affectionate, but not overly so in an obnoxious way. he laughs at all the same things i do, and his laugh is really warm hearted. when he smiles, he smiles with his whole face; he smiles with his eyes. his blue eyes are like a window into his deeper self, and i love that they give everything away. i find his authenticity to be so incredibly attractive. he is very sure of himself, but not in an overly confident sort of way. he says what he means, and he means what he says. there's just no bull shit with kevin. we sometimes bicker about stupid things, and we've learned stress management skills on both sides would probably be helpful. he is never afraid to apologize in the end though, and seems to be very resolution oriented if ever we do have a little tiff.  kevin is a tremendously loving father. his little lady is the apple of his eye. he never raises his voice with her, but speaks calmly and with purpose. he is so patient. he listens to her when most people (even me!) would rather throw the towel in and peace out. kevin is protective, and holds my heart with regard. kevins hands are too-die-for. so strong, and sturdy. he holds my hand as we fall asleep each night, and makes sure i know those strong hands are here to catch me, if ever i fall down. i get lost in his hugs. i crave more of him each day. regardless of where this life may take us, as long as im beside him i will be okay. i know that. this is the ending i had always hoped to find. he is my happily ever after. the war is over. whats most exciting though, is that it's only just begun. our life is just taking shape. we are learning and growing, and dreaming, and just, just, just getting started. watch out world, here we come!

the last thing i learned at 30 is that the petty bull shit is just not for me. get on board, or get off my truck. i will be living life, chosing to be happy and if youd like to join me? welcome aboard! if youre not with it? if you wanna fight? be unreasonable? disrespectful? mean? see ya later bitches. im over it. i will walk away. i will live my life. i worked too hard for this life ive got, to waste any time worrying about, trying to understand and/or to tip toe around your feelings. seriously though! id love to have you take this journey with me. theres just one rule, and one rule only: no bull shit allowed.

thanks for sticking with me through 30 guys! you rock!

be blessed friends, and as always- be thankful.

fairy tales aren't just for kids.

once upon a time there was this girl. she wasn't the happiest of girls, but only because she felt lost and didn't know where she was going, where she had come from, or how she would go on. most of her life leading up to this moment felt a little unreal, fake, wrong. she had been through this really tough time, and took a chance by coming to a new place, hoping for the best. initially, most of her days were spent sad... feeling lonely, and unsure. but then she met someone. it was a friend. new friends were always hard to find, but this time it wasn't. it was almost like her heart just knew this person. it was almost like her heart had chosen this person. for the first time in forever, she felt connected to this friend in a way she hadn't ever felt before. the two friends shared their deepest, darkest secrets the very first time they met. they told about love and life, about heartbreak, wounded love, awful experiences. they told each other everything. the girl felt alive again for the first time in months, probably and more than likely because she told this friend everything. she cried and she laughed, she mourned what once was, and she wondered and dreamed of what would be. all with this friend. her raw-ness and the permission her friend had given to just be broken, messy, mad... brought her back to life. no one had ever let this girl just 'be' until this friend, and it was just what she had needed to begin again.

it was kind of like a match made in heaven because these two girls were so much alike. they loved all of the same things, and quickly learned that they could talk for hours about everything: crafts, baking, boys. they also learned they could talk for hours about nothing too- just laughing and being happy. in the past this girl had often wondered if she had made a mistake by moving so far away to start over. she had wondered if it would ever get easier, if she would ever feel okay. after meeting this friend though- the one her heart had chosen, she knew she was right where she was meant to be. she knew she would stay- if for no other reason alone, but for this friendship. because those are the kind that come once in a lifetime.

thank you to the friend who let me be real. who let me be raw. who gave me a chance and helped me to realize... i could begin again. you are legit. too legit to quit.

blessed.

is it really true that kim k is pregnant? may as well just add her to the list of the 500 other people i know who are expecting. lucky betches. lol. thats cool though, my day will come! and ive felt closer to those exciting times for me more lately than ever before.

lots is going on!

our christmas holiday was too-die-for fun! it was like my favorite christmas everr. it was super fun with kayla, and getting to see her so excited about all of her gifts. she was precious. she loved her spider man mask, baby boy doll and diaper bag, her roaring dinosaur and her scooter best. she's the coolest kid on the planet. hands down.

our new year was fun too!

this new year feels so much more refreshing and exciting than last year. things have changed so much. this year, we are expecting a lot of super cool things to happen. we are getting ready to buy our first home, and that is super exciting! at times ive felt pretty overwhelmed by all of the details that go into such an event, but it seems like things are falling into place perfectly. love when that happens. a lot of things will happen before that, and i think it'll be a wild few months. it's worth it though, because at the end of the day a home of our own will be waiting for us.

on another note. ya know how when you're my age (old), you dont really "date" someone unless they seem like a potential candidate to be your long-term guy? well thats at least true for me. im not a time waster... time is running out and ive chosen to be selective about only dating someone i could see myself with. well anyway- of course when i met and started dating kevin i saw something that made me think we could really work. but the truth of the matter is that i really just had no clue. he was like the best surprise ever. still is really. i feel like i am falling more and more and more in love with this man as the days goes by. i sometimes wonder if ill ever stop falling. it's the best feeling ever. well anyway, last weekend i was sitting there and literally thought out of nowhere, "im gonna marry this man." it was crazy. we weren't doing anything spectacular, and nothing exciting was happening, but i just knew. which is funny, because up until that moment i hadn't given it much thought. i feel like in my previous relationship, i gave a lot of thought to what it could be right from the start. that was annoying though. i think mostly because i had fallen in love with the idea of this life i wanted, more than i did with the guy. so going into this relationship, i didn't really think of it. i took it day by day. i didn't worry about the details of what our wedding could be, or how fabulous this new life was going to be. instead i just enjoyed it and was in the moment. it is like somewhere along the way, i realized that life is what happens in between all the planned events. those precious moments that have made me fall so deeply in love with kevin, have happened in the most unpredictable, organic way. at 3 in the morning, when no one else is up. special conversation when we fall asleep. it's like a look here or there, or laughing together until it hurts. these are the moments that really matter. these are the moments that cant be planned. so ive relished in these moments, choosing not to worry or allow my mind to wander into what it could be, where it could go, and when it'll get there. so this realization i had, knowing with such certainty that i would one day be his wife, kind of caught me off guard. id been so busy enjoying our life, for the first time ever, i had stopped planning it. as surprising as it may have been though, it was a feeling i got in the pit of my gut. which makes me happy, because if i were able to choose my happily ever after- it would most definitely be him.

i sometimes dont know how i got this lucky. i sometimes still question if its real. i sometimes still freak out thinking "you dont deserve to be this happy" and worry something catastrophic will undoubtedly happen to him when i least expect it. and it'll be my fault, because i was the one not destined for happiness. but mostly, and its when he reaches for my hand, or grabs my face gently to pull me close for a kiss, i know that he loves me. i feel so safe in his embrace, and i feel so worthy of this once-in-a-lifetime-love.

happy new year friends. thanks for sticking with me through this adventure i call life. i feel so blessed to be surrounded with such loving, loyal, caring people. it's an honor to call you friend. (and if youre taking the time out of your busy schedule to read my quite senseless, useless babblings, you are most definitely considered a friend.)

be blessed friends. and as always- be thankful.

10 things.

1) i no longer work at the source and this rocks my world. instead, im nannying for 3 little dudes each day and it is pretty fab.

2) when im here in their house all alone though, i notice it makes really weird sounds and i get really scared.

3) hmm.

4) the shooting in conneticut is kind of like the worst thing everrrr. i feel like things like this are happening more and more frequently, and to more and more of an extreme. i hate that. i cant imagine how those mommies and daddies must feel. i keep thinking of those little ones, and how they probably had christmas presents wrapped and set neatly beneath the tree. i keep thinking of what it'll be like for their parents on christmas morning when those presents are left unopened. i keep thinking of what it must have been like for those little guys to watch their teacher be murdered right before their eyes. i keep thinking about how that probably broke their heart, because when you're in kindergarten, your teacher kinda hangs the moon and seems famous. then when the gun was pointed in their direction... they must've cried out for their moms and dads. they must have been terrified and wondered why. i keep thinking about kayla. and that sucks. i dont ever want her to know the evil that walks among us. i dont ever want her to know that this has happened, and that it could happen again- without reason or warning. i dont ever want her to know  because if she knows, her sweet 3-year-old innocence will die just a little, and there's just no getting that back. i want her to keep living in a world that she thinks is magical, that she thinks is safe, that she thinks is fun. she deserves that and i want her to have it for as long as she possibly can.

5) christmas is coming and i might just...  get my cute boyrfriend this...

:) i know i shouldnt... but hello!? he is CUTE! and kevin's been wanting a lil dude for awhile now, and i just think he would be so stinkin cute with a red bow wrapped arond his little neck. we'll see... bristol would really love a little companion too. i honestly know that it would be perfect for her. and besides... he's super cute. right? i can talk myself into this using that excuse over and over, huh? i think he will love it.

6) my mom and dad got a new fancy car and so that's super exciting. they got THIS rockin ride and i am jealoussss.

but guess whats also super exciting?? they're giving me their camry! they're driving it out here when they come at christmas and ill kiss the days of being broken down goodbye. the jeep can kick rocks and if i never see that thing again it'll be too soon. gosh i love my parents. they are good to me.

7) oh! did i mention that  my ass hole ex husband made it outta prison? yeah, probably not. and the reason would be that i just dont care. lol.

8) i was planning to make all of my super fun christmas goodies this weekend, but realized we wont have kayla so we'll be pushing it back till next. get ready.

9) in my opinion there are CNN girls and there are FOXnews girls. im a CNN girl. proudly.

10) im so excited for christmas! SO excited! so, so, so, so, so excited!!!!!!!!!! i hope that you are too!

be blessed friends. and as always- be thankful.

update/christmas delight

ive tried blogging a few times in the past couple of months, all to no avail. i wrote about becoming an auntie to what could quite possibly be the very cutest boy on the planet. he is perfection. born on october 16, 2012 at 8:25pm, quinn holds my whole heart right in the palm of his hand. i wanted to post pictures in the blogs i had written about him before and it wont work! which really chaps my hide. like, for real. so... you can see my little quinn on facebook, but because im kinda technologically challenged you'll get none here. sorry dudes.

i also tried writing about falling in love. since last blogging, ive somehow managed to completely fall in love with a man i never imagined existed. he is the nicest man ive ever known. he is beautiful- on the inside and out. he is smart, and funny, and affectionate, and loving. we think all the same things are funny, and we laugh constantly. we spend most of our time talking- for hours. he is a passionate man. passionate about life, passionate about love, and to my very happy surprise, passionate about me. his name is kevin, and if i could keep him forever, i would. here's hoping... :) he went through a similar kind of divorce a while ago too- similar mostly in the fact that it was HARD. he is the daddy to the prettiest, and sweetest, most adorable little lady on the planet- kayla. aka- "my kayla bug." i love her. not really sure what else there is to say... other than that id like to keep her forever too. she's what i like to call "saucy," and i love it. she's tough, and she knows just what she wants. more than anything though? she's sweet, and has very quickly become my best friend. we are involved in what i like to call "a pretty serious love affair." i feel blessed, and i feel so lucky to have these two precious souls in my life. im so glad i have followed my heart in previous relationships because my choices have lead my here... to him... and to her. and to be honest? there's no where else in the world id rather be. i wanted so badly to post pictures of the life we share together... but again, no can do. :/ in just two and half short months, we have managed to create more memories than i can count and i wish, wish, wish i was able to share the pics and document all of our silly stories. :/

anyway, i guess i figured i should update even if my shady tech skills wont allow me to share pics. i AM however, in a position to share some pics of some holiday fun kayla, kevin and i will have in the upcoming weeks. (weird that im able to share these pics and not the others, right? whatevs.)

we plan to have a baking party and make all kinds of super cute, delicious christmas treats. i did this in nashville every year, and had such fun distributing my delicious delicacies to friends around town. thats the plan for this year too- so dont be alarmed if we show up at your door with christmas goodies in hand, made with sugar and with love. (this will probably be happening the weekend of december 14th... so dont say i didnt warn you!)  :)

some of things you may find....

is your mouth watering yet? lol. im super excited to make these goodies with my little side kick kayla. she will have such fun, and it'll be a tradition we'll make happen each year. so! if you know you rock my world... and you know you are my peep... get ready! cause the christmas goodies are on the way!

im so, so, so glad that christmas is here friends. it is my most favorite time of year, and i love it. our tree is absolute perfection, our chritmas candles burn each day, and the christmas tunes are blaring constantly. im blessed to think of my life a year ago... and then to look around and realize how lucky i am to call this reality my own. i love you all so much, and i hope that your christmas season is just as magical as mine.

be blessed friends. and as always, be thankful.

saturday fun and fall festivities

i have had such a great day today! it started at baby vince's birthday party. it was monster themed and so, so, so fun! april did such an amazing job making every detail super cute just as i knew she would. i cant believe baby vince is 1!

being a part of precious moments like these makes me SO glad to be in colorado! i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

after the party bristol anne and i took a trip to the dog park. it was a gorgeous day! it's beginning to feel like fall here, and that makes me HAPPY! fall is one of my favorite things in the world and i cant wait for crisp leaves, and pumpkins. seriously.

this got me really thinking... how fun will be it be to decorate and do all kinds of fall baking??

how fun is THIS? seems to be pretty simple too- corn husks wrapped around candle votives... love.

um?? hello???? cute, right? so cute. i wish i had a couple of cute kiddos to do these with, but since i dont i might just hafta go it alone. theyre too cute to pass up if you ask me.

speaking of kiddos... im sure it can be pretty tough for those lil guys to sit at the table throughout the entire thanksgiving meal right? well... what if you added these adorable finger puppets to the thanksgiving table for them to busy themselves with?? i think that would be a super fab idea, and how cute are they?

along those same lines... take a look at that awesome feather headress! how fun is that? definitely very chic at the table too, but would definitely add some fun to the otherwise boring table time, right?

pumpkin layer cake... ummm, yes please. this just looks delish.

um so yeah... fall is definitely in the air and i am so happy and excited to try out some of these awesome recipes and crafts.

pretty much.

a list...

1) do not lie to me.

2) when i tell you in the beginning that if you lie to me i will walk... i am serious.

3) dont assume i will make an exception to that rule of mine just because it's you. that is ignorant.

4) when i ask for you to safe guard something because it is special and important... im not being crazy. im being legit. im being smart. im being responsible.

5) when you agree to safe guard something, and lead me to believe we are on the same page, i feel good about that.

6) but when you do otherwise, i get mad.

7) when you do it more than once, i re-think.

8) ya see- i invested FIVE YEARS into someone. someone who i loved so, so much it made me sick to my stomach to even consider walking away.

9) but that someone hurt me.

10) because he did not safe guard. and because he lied.

11) and i know now, that had i walked away from the very beginning of things with him... the very first time he lied... i would have saved myself a world of heartache.

12) but i didnt... and this has brought me to where i am now.

13) relentless in my expectation of you.

14) which is not unfair, because i am great.

15) my expectation does not require that you bring me flowers three times a week.

16) my expectation does not require that you rub my back before i fall asleep every night.

17) my expectation does not require that you make 100k a year.

18) my expectation is clear, and it is fair.

19) my expectation is honesty.

20) i am willing, and able to provide honesty.

22) it's therefore fair that i demand the same in return.

23) so when you are honest, life is good and i will do my best to make you the happiest man on the planet.

24) but when you are not honest?

25) i walk away.

26) with my head held high. because i am better than that.

27) you had your chance, and you lost it.

28) good luck to you moving forward.

29) hopefully i did you a service. next time...

30) when a girl says she'll walk if you lie to her?

31) believe her.

in between...

i have decided to write because i have no one to really talk to about how im feeling right now. there just is too much going on around me to ask someone to stop and hear me out. for the first time in a long time, i find myself crying today about the life that i lost.

it all started when i stumbled across a recipe that i had written down foreverrrrr ago. my bff josh had me and eric over one night because he and his friend horacio had cooked sopes and wanted to share. horacio knows just how to cook delicious authenic mexican food, and i found myself so excited to try something new. it (of course) turned out to be delicious, and i vividly remember forcing him to sit directly in front of me to spill the beans on just how to make sopes on my own. he walked me through the process over and over, and was so patient in answering my questions. i wrote as fast as my hands would let me, and was so excited to go home and try making these sopes on my own. . stumbling upon the recipe all this time later just really got me thinking. [side note- most times i dont remember ANYthing. i find that others around me tend to remember details and situations a lot easier than i do. im usually the one standing there saying "nope! i dont remember that at all!" (that happens a lot these days because michael will frequently bring up stories or fun things we did in high school and i just have no recollection of any of it, lol). so yeah- mostly i remember nothing.  but then there are times like this- when i remember EVERY single detail of EVERYthing about that night.] i thought about that night, and what eric and i were wearing, and what we talked about. there was music playing in the background, and josh's tiny kitchen was COVERED in sope goodness.  i remember it like it was yesterday. what i wasn't able to remember though, is if this night took place before or after my seemingly happy life began to unravel. was it before i had even learned he had an affair? or was it during that summer after the fact when we were "working" on things?  i remember eric there... and i remember he and i happy. so it must have been before.

i think ive mostly cried today, over the loss of what was a perfectly established and seemingly good life. right now i just feel so caught in the in-between.  i believe i have physically and emotionally moved on from my life with eric, but i somehow still feel stuck in this in-between world where im just not quite happy yet. im sure we all know that i have this awesome boyfriend michael, who im thrilled to call my own, but even my relationship with him seems very in-between. in order to get where i really want for us to be, a series of things have to happen (he listed them off for me today) and that's just disappointing. i first, have to move there. then i have to get a steady job. once i have a steady job there, i have to get my lease here taken care of. once the apartment is re-rented and i am no longer paying a shit load of money each month, we can begin to save. once we save, we can THEN begin to discuss a home... and really beginning the life ive been working toward all these years. it just feels like it's so close i can reach out and touch it, but so, so, so far away at the very same time.

it feels unfair that ive been asked (forced rather) to start my life over. right now, im not mourning the loss of my husband, and the love and friendship we had... im just mourning the loss of the established life. im mourning the fact that no matter how far ive come, and no matter how hard ive worked... there is a still a long, and winding road set before me that i hafta travel to reach where i want to be.

i guess i should really just be thankful to have made the progress ive made... but right now? in this very moment? im really not. right now i just feel overwhelmed. and tired of waiting, and tired of working for what i thought i had already.

baseball. hot dogs. sunburns. memories.

so it wasn't until mr. michael barkley came into my world that i started getting to go to like... a zillion rockies games. and ill be honest... i kinda love it. i had never really been to a major league game before, but man! there's something really special about the bright green field, perfectly manicured, and getting to sing "take me out to the ballgame" at the top of your lungs when it's the 7th inning stretch. like, for real. i think it really helps that colorado is to-die-for pretty like... ALL the time, because i find myself enjoying the gorgeous colorado views about as much as i do the game (sometimes more, but shoosh!). since going to the rockies games has become one of my favorite things to do, i figured id share a few pictures...

 

 

okay, first of all- see what i mean about the view? i still cant get enough of the colorado sky. it takes my breath away.

 



 

our seats are on the third level, and i LOVE them! one time we sat on the first level, and i didn't enjoy my time nearly as much as i tend to up here. i have a perfect view of home plate, outfield and the score board. that's money.

 

this was at our very first game together back in late april... or maybe early may. it was whenever the rockies played the braves, and i was super excited to be here. my bf (obviously) is a giant braves fan, and he came decked out head to toe in his braves garb, but i proudly rocked my rockies tshirt and loved EVERY minute of the game! i think it was during the 7th inning that the skies opened, and it began to downpour... hard. so at first we hung around inside, waiting for it to pass. once it became apparent that was probably never going to happen, we decided to make a run for it. well... by "we" i really mean me. i decided we should make a run for it, and so we RAN for blocks and blocks and blocks to the car, and got SOAKED! every inch of our clothing was soaked, and we happily drove home laughing, and giggling and shivering from being so wet!

 

 

game 2. it was a saturday day game, and it was hot as hell when we left. i expected to sweat miserably and so i had my little hat on to block my face a bit (being SO close to the sun here, i burn QUICK) and a sun dress to keep me cool. but in true colorado style, the weather changed on a dime, and by the time we arrived at the ball park, it was cloudy and drizzling. i was happy with that though... i would rather have been a little chilly than sweating my ass off. something really fun about this game was that they gave out free cargo tshirts, and i thought that was nice.

 

 

game 3. not sure what that face is about, but something ive learned is that you never really know what you're gonna get when you hold a camera up to this guy. anyway, this was a friday evening game, and the weather was actually perfect! from start to finish... it was lovely.

 

 

game 4. i hadta steal his hat for a bit because i literally sat there on that upper deck, getting FRIED! by the time this pic was taken, i was hurting pretty bad and clearly decided i should show it in this lovely photo op. lol. this was a sunday day game. i ended up making friends with a fellow burn victim behind me, and borrowing some spf50...  thank god i did! after this game, we went to a delicious eatery downtown called marco's pizza. i HIGHLY recommend paying this little spot a visit. it was delish!

 

 

 

game 5. another evening game, and the weather was perfection. no rain, but a light, cool breeze that kinda made my heart go pitter patter. this game was fun cause i was super excited to get this kick ass rockies hat! whoo hoo! ive never had a baseball hat like this before... im quickly becoming a real rockies fan proffessional... clearly. lol.

 

 

game 6. and i am happy to report this game was special because it was my first rockies win!!!!!! it was a smashing success and i loved every minute of it! i think we closed out with 10-0, killing the dodgers. to say that i was stoaked to win, would be kind of an understatement... let's just say winning really suits me well. lol.

 

 

all in all, id hafta say ive been really blessed to have created so many special and fun memories at the ball park this summer. it's something ive never really done before, and i am so excited to be out there every few weeks. i love the peanuts, the hot dogs, the (mostly) cool breezes, and the memories. we have three more games next month before the season ends, and i really think ill miss coors field this fall/winter. 

 



book of mormon, august 25 2012

i want to start by saying i enjoyed being downtown today... a lot. i feel like i am rarely down there, and i seem to forget how gorgeous it is... how clean it is... how beautiful the old buildings are. to me, there is something really magical about a downtown that has the old, charming, and awesome buildings.

we started the day at the curtis hotel restaurant called the corner office. it was exquisitly decorated, and had this very cool, modern style. i loved it. the hues of cool blues and sassy greens intrigued my eye at every corner, and i enjoyed my surroundings about as much as i did the company and conversation.

the menu was filled with a variety of breakfast foods... all totally posh in both their flavors and their presentation. the french toast was my absolute favorite and if you ever find yourself with an opportunity to go visit the corner office, give it a try. you will not regret it.

here we are happy, and excited to begin our fun-filled day in denver. (i really wish i had taken more pictures of this place to share... whoops.)

the curtis hotel is directly across from the denver performing arts center, and as i stepped outside the view just kind of captured my heart a little. it was an absolutely gorgeous day, and i just knew that the show would be fabulous. i was so excited in fact, i realize now that i managed to document just about each and every moment. :)

 

 

so the show was... too die for. like... amazing. so, so, so funny. and not in a whitty, clever sort of way either. in an, in-your-face-hilarious sort of way. there was no denying or missing this humor. it was fabulously inappropriate at times, heart warming at times... hilarious the whole way through. i knew for sure i would enjoy it, but had no idea what type of hilarity was waiting for me. i guess i had kind of expected it to sort of mock the mormon religion, and i am happy to report that it really didn't. im sure most mormons would find themselves horrified throughout the show for other reasons, but not because they felt personally mocked... just my thoughts i guess. so after literally laughing so hard my face hurt, i decided to do some exploring outside. i just thought the building was so, so pretty. i love to think about all of the amazing moments that must have taken place here... the history is just kind of magical to me.

experiences like today aren't the kind you get to have every day. the musical itself was seriously so, so, so funny. not for the faint of heart, but certainly for the open minded, looking-to-have-a-good-laugh kinda folk. :) the architecture of the performing arts center was beautiful, and it was all around just a really wonderful time. i love making memories like this.

oh and lastly? a giant shout out to my brother and sister-in-law for coordinating such a fun time. we LOVED it!

ps- isn't she the cutest pregnant girl on the planet? like... ever?? i CANT WAIT for my nephew to get here!!!!!!

summer 2012

okay so it's been awhile... a long while. i get it.

so my mom came to town in march, and i decided to let her take my computer because hers was acting up, and they just have done so much for me, it seemed like the right thing to do. this meant i had no real ability to blog, and was left to blog from work. that became pretty difficult because i was at work... and ya know... i needed to be working. i think i blogged twice from a work computer, and both times were really late at night when all the work was done and there was nothing better to do. since my supervisor decided to hate me though, i decided i should be sure to have all of my time accounted for. which means, even if it's the very end of the night, and there is nothing to do... i pretend i am very busy and important, handling only work related things. lol. right. well... my mom came back to visit a few weeks ago, and decided to let me keep the computer for awhile. so here i am... blogging. i will do better about blogging more often now that ive got my computer back and such.

because it's been so long, ive realized there is a lot to cover. like, a lot-a lot. i should start by saying that this summer has kinda rocked my face off. i have made so many wonderful memories, and have had so many fun experiences. i feel so blessed. it's still sometimes amazing to me that a year ago today i was working so hard to save my marriage. i was going off to counseling each week to fix things... i was doing a lot of introspective thinking and asking myself questions of how and what i had done to make the husband i adored cheat on me. i was taking the blame... i was struggling in relationships with my family, and i wanted nothing more but for everything to just be okay. and now here i am.... and everything is wonderful! i am blessed beyond comprehension, and i feel so safe now... so secure in my life, and in my loving relationships... god has really walked with me through this journey, and i am proud to say i made it!  it's remarkable, really. i made it.

ive got several pictures of fun things to share, but im going to try and start from the beginning of summertime...

this was homemade french bread pizza night, and boy was it good! michael and i got a bunch of pizza toppings together, and built our very own pizzas on fresh french bread. i love this picture because it really captures how happy we were... even then... at the very beginning. i love how im looking at his sweet lil self so adoringly. i fell pretty hard for this one, and i think ill keep him. :)

 

so michael and i decided to meet up with some of my favorite people on the planet (the smith family) to go to parker days together. parker is where i live, and apparently they hold this giant festival type thing every summer, and man oh man! it was FUN! i highly recommend going to ANYone looking for a good time outside, on a hot summer day. as you can see- sylvie is pretty much too die for. and i was happy to capture moments of her and her sweet mama on sylvie's very first ferris wheel ride. parker days was a good, good time and i would love to go again!

next, we went to this really fun fest in greely called blues jam, and it was a smashing good time. like, for real. the music was UHmaaaazing, and it was fun to be enjoying an outdoor music festival on a beautiful colorado night. seriously. oh and yeah- i totally stole the above pictured golf cart and took it for a spin for some fun. my poor, poor boyfriend is a bit of a rule follower and im sure was fearing for his life. props to the random (and innocent, i might add) bystander who agreed to take this pic to document the fun time. :)

i definitely wanted to share some of these fun pictures i caught of michael's adorable and sweet, sweet family who have welcomed me into their lives on more than one occasion. to say that these are special people would be kind of an understatement. i LOVE them! in the top picture you'll see michael with his precious little niece rylee. this girl is CRAZY! i love her so, so much. she is first of all.... adorable! and i think she looks just like my guy. :) but second of all? she is tough! she says the funniest things, and has a bit of a chip on her a shoulder that she seems to carry well. the middle picture is (from left to right) his aunt karen, his grandpa, and his sweet mama. this was taken on father's day, right after we all had sunday lunch. i think it's the coolest thing- every sunday, the entire family gets together after church at the grandparents house, and they eat a big, delicious lunch, and spend time together. it's like a dream to be a part of such a special thing, and i love it! the last picture is of michael's adorable little nephew casey. this guy is too die for! he was so shy with me at first, but once he decided we could be friends, we have been friends! last weekend it was the sweetest thing- he came into the house, walked right up to me, climbed in my lap, and gave me a giant hug. what a sweet little love! seriously. michael's family is one of the very best things about him, and i am so blessed to know such wonderful, loving, funny, and sweet people.

 



okay so in one of my last posts i mentioned being super stoked for a bun being in someone very specials little oven, right?? well.... i am happy to report the oven belongs to my sister-in-law, tara, and i will be an aunt in no time! i was SO excited to see the ultrasound picture of my adorable little nephew. i cant imagine what it will feel like to be an aunt. ahhh.... isn't he just a doll baby? well anyway, the little man is due to make is debut on october 24th, and i am thrilled. mom and baby are growing and are healthy, and are doing great. i am thrilled!!!!!

so michael has this giant dog named leigh and i LOVE her! she is just too die for. first of all, how cute is that black patch on her eye?? and second of all, i think it's so fun that she's a bit portly... like me. :) but also? she is like a freak show dog... she behaves constantly! she always obeys, and never does anything bad... like.... ever. it's kinda bizarre really. lol. she and bristol anne have become fast friends, and they kind of love each other. well.... let's be honest, bristol loves her, but i think she'd be just fine to never hafta play with my pup again. leigh baby is like 8... or 9... or something, and of course my sweet girl is just getting ready to turn 3! so they're kind of on different playing fields. but they get along great, and i am happy to report leigh has been really good for b. bristol seems to have learned a lot from her, and that's helped a ton! bristol now stays out of her kennel every day, and is free to roam the house and sleep wherever her sweet little head may lie. she rarely has accidents, and has just become such a good girl. i think leigh has had a lot to do with the change in behavior... i also think michael has a lot to do with it, because he is SO FIRM! and of course, i think finally growing out of that "puppy" phase is helpful too! i sure do love my baby though... more than words could say.

this is just a fun little moment i was happy to catch on camera. we used to do this together in high school all the time, and it was fun to bring it back. we say "look at our buff necks!" an then we show our neck muscles! lol.

so i know this picture is pretty poor as far as quality goes, but that's kinda how it goes when you just have your iphone to document big moments. and this??? this was definitely of them! i finally got my new ID that lists me as.... MaryEllen Willis. yessssssssssssssss. the sound of it, is really just... well? amazing.

soooo... i like to post some of my crafty projects on here whenever i get the chance, and here is the latest. we found this giant desk, (and by giant... i mean GIANT!) on craigslist. it's made of solid wood, has a giant surface for crafting, and it was like $80. if you ask me, that combination makes this piece pretty too-die-for. the only thing was... it was dark wood. and beautiful, sure... but it just wasn't really my style. so i decided to give it a little face lift, and i am so glad i did. after 3 days of coating it with this delicious robin's egg blue, it had come back to life. i LOVE it.

sometime in the middle of the summer there, i got the opportunity to see a BUNCH of special people i grew up with. it was so fun to see some of the people from all those years ago. the phelps boys (in the first picture) were at my house constantly when i was like 13,14,15, etc. they were like two additional older brothers, and i just have so many memories of them there. the second picture is of my very first love, ben and his awesome (and super cute) wife jenni. the third picture is of travis hudson and i... we went to church together, to high school together, we sang duets together... we grew up together. it was a really good time to catch up, and to see everyone now.

 

 

so as some of you may know, my michael is an elementary school teacher (love). in the summertime though, he has the opportunity to work in reality television, so this summer he spent five weeks in georgia working on... wait for it.... the bad girls club. (any time i say that, i hear their little jingle "welcome to the bad girls club" in my head, lol). anyway, if you don't know what that is, good. it's the trashiest of trashy television, but he has some friends who work in the art department for the show, and he is given the opportunity to make some extra dough, so he does it. im glad for him, because he seems to have a good time when he goes. i lucked out big time, because my guy is so sweet, that he decided to fly me down to the atl for a special little weekend get-away where fun was on every corner. the first big thing we did, was meet up with one of my favorite people on the planet, kellee gooch. she is from georgia, but lives in nashville and has been one of my best friends for about eight years now. so she met up with us on saturday, and we got to spend the day at the georgia aquarium. it was AMAZZZZING! the entire thing was over the top.  i looooooooved it, and i especially loved getting to see my sweet, sweet friend. (if any of you ever end up in the atlanta area, i HIGHLY suggest spending a day here... they even had a dolphin show!)

 

after a fun filled day spent with kellee at the aquarium, we went off to a delicious and very fancy dinner at this place called southern art. the chef was once oprah's personal chef, and he had a real knack for creating deliciousness. like, for real. we had a smor-gish-bourg of food, and we ate like kings. it was amaaazing. again- if you're ever in the atlanta area, go to the restaurant called southern art. you. will. not. regret. it.

 

 

on sunday, my bestie josh came to atlanta from nashville for a fun filled day at the coca-cola factory. it was so stinkin good to see him... words just will not say. (josh was my very first friend in nashville, i met him the day i moved there, and we have been bff's ever since. i love him.) ANYway... the coke factory was pretty rock star. we made sure to have a smashing good time.

 

when my little favorites in nashville learned i was at the coke factory, they decided to play a prank and had their mama facebook me to say that i MUST try the drink called beverly because it is "just sooooooooo good!" i knew they were onto something, but decided to humor them with this play-by-play...

 

 

it. was. awful. after trying it, and being completely horrified at the taste of disgust in my mouth, we decided it might be fun to pay it forward and continue the joke jenna claire and ross thought to start. so we positioned ourselves next to the beverly dispenser and exclaimed to each passer-byer how delicious it was. a few fell for our antics, and were horrified at our cruelty. we didn't regret it for a second though. suckers.

 

 

one of my all time favorite things from this summer, was getting to go to the counting crows concert with my brother at red rocks. it. was. fun. first of all, it was a gorgeous night, packed full of gorgeous colorado views. that's right folks... i live here. be jealous betches. :) red rocks is an outdoor amphitheater, and it is too die for. the acoustics are amazing, and it is just so, so pretty. but second of all? the counting crows rocked my world. the concert was amaaaazing, packed full of good, good songs that we loved. it was definitely a memorable moment.

 

 

 

my mom and dad came back into town at the beginning of this month, and we made sure to pack it full of fun. paula (tara's mom) also came to visit, and we all had the best time with one another. i am so lucky to call these people my own. ps- isn't tara the cutest pregnant girl on the planet???

 

 



i figured id finish with this... because let's face it, it doesn't get better than that. as im sure you've figured out, i am now the girlfriend belonging to mr. michael barkley, and i am HAPPY. he is so good, and so fun, and so honest, and so loving, and so... well? just wonderful. i am a lucky lady to call him my own, and am so glad i have gotten to share this journey with you sweet people.

sorry this blog has been LONG! i had a lot of catching up to do.

be blessed friends, and as always... be thankful.