saturday fun and fall festivities

i have had such a great day today! it started at baby vince's birthday party. it was monster themed and so, so, so fun! april did such an amazing job making every detail super cute just as i knew she would. i cant believe baby vince is 1!

being a part of precious moments like these makes me SO glad to be in colorado! i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

after the party bristol anne and i took a trip to the dog park. it was a gorgeous day! it's beginning to feel like fall here, and that makes me HAPPY! fall is one of my favorite things in the world and i cant wait for crisp leaves, and pumpkins. seriously.

this got me really thinking... how fun will be it be to decorate and do all kinds of fall baking??

how fun is THIS? seems to be pretty simple too- corn husks wrapped around candle votives... love.

um?? hello???? cute, right? so cute. i wish i had a couple of cute kiddos to do these with, but since i dont i might just hafta go it alone. theyre too cute to pass up if you ask me.

speaking of kiddos... im sure it can be pretty tough for those lil guys to sit at the table throughout the entire thanksgiving meal right? well... what if you added these adorable finger puppets to the thanksgiving table for them to busy themselves with?? i think that would be a super fab idea, and how cute are they?

along those same lines... take a look at that awesome feather headress! how fun is that? definitely very chic at the table too, but would definitely add some fun to the otherwise boring table time, right?

pumpkin layer cake... ummm, yes please. this just looks delish.

um so yeah... fall is definitely in the air and i am so happy and excited to try out some of these awesome recipes and crafts.

pretty much.

a list...

1) do not lie to me.

2) when i tell you in the beginning that if you lie to me i will walk... i am serious.

3) dont assume i will make an exception to that rule of mine just because it's you. that is ignorant.

4) when i ask for you to safe guard something because it is special and important... im not being crazy. im being legit. im being smart. im being responsible.

5) when you agree to safe guard something, and lead me to believe we are on the same page, i feel good about that.

6) but when you do otherwise, i get mad.

7) when you do it more than once, i re-think.

8) ya see- i invested FIVE YEARS into someone. someone who i loved so, so much it made me sick to my stomach to even consider walking away.

9) but that someone hurt me.

10) because he did not safe guard. and because he lied.

11) and i know now, that had i walked away from the very beginning of things with him... the very first time he lied... i would have saved myself a world of heartache.

12) but i didnt... and this has brought me to where i am now.

13) relentless in my expectation of you.

14) which is not unfair, because i am great.

15) my expectation does not require that you bring me flowers three times a week.

16) my expectation does not require that you rub my back before i fall asleep every night.

17) my expectation does not require that you make 100k a year.

18) my expectation is clear, and it is fair.

19) my expectation is honesty.

20) i am willing, and able to provide honesty.

22) it's therefore fair that i demand the same in return.

23) so when you are honest, life is good and i will do my best to make you the happiest man on the planet.

24) but when you are not honest?

25) i walk away.

26) with my head held high. because i am better than that.

27) you had your chance, and you lost it.

28) good luck to you moving forward.

29) hopefully i did you a service. next time...

30) when a girl says she'll walk if you lie to her?

31) believe her.

in between...

i have decided to write because i have no one to really talk to about how im feeling right now. there just is too much going on around me to ask someone to stop and hear me out. for the first time in a long time, i find myself crying today about the life that i lost.

it all started when i stumbled across a recipe that i had written down foreverrrrr ago. my bff josh had me and eric over one night because he and his friend horacio had cooked sopes and wanted to share. horacio knows just how to cook delicious authenic mexican food, and i found myself so excited to try something new. it (of course) turned out to be delicious, and i vividly remember forcing him to sit directly in front of me to spill the beans on just how to make sopes on my own. he walked me through the process over and over, and was so patient in answering my questions. i wrote as fast as my hands would let me, and was so excited to go home and try making these sopes on my own. . stumbling upon the recipe all this time later just really got me thinking. [side note- most times i dont remember ANYthing. i find that others around me tend to remember details and situations a lot easier than i do. im usually the one standing there saying "nope! i dont remember that at all!" (that happens a lot these days because michael will frequently bring up stories or fun things we did in high school and i just have no recollection of any of it, lol). so yeah- mostly i remember nothing.  but then there are times like this- when i remember EVERY single detail of EVERYthing about that night.] i thought about that night, and what eric and i were wearing, and what we talked about. there was music playing in the background, and josh's tiny kitchen was COVERED in sope goodness.  i remember it like it was yesterday. what i wasn't able to remember though, is if this night took place before or after my seemingly happy life began to unravel. was it before i had even learned he had an affair? or was it during that summer after the fact when we were "working" on things?  i remember eric there... and i remember he and i happy. so it must have been before.

i think ive mostly cried today, over the loss of what was a perfectly established and seemingly good life. right now i just feel so caught in the in-between.  i believe i have physically and emotionally moved on from my life with eric, but i somehow still feel stuck in this in-between world where im just not quite happy yet. im sure we all know that i have this awesome boyfriend michael, who im thrilled to call my own, but even my relationship with him seems very in-between. in order to get where i really want for us to be, a series of things have to happen (he listed them off for me today) and that's just disappointing. i first, have to move there. then i have to get a steady job. once i have a steady job there, i have to get my lease here taken care of. once the apartment is re-rented and i am no longer paying a shit load of money each month, we can begin to save. once we save, we can THEN begin to discuss a home... and really beginning the life ive been working toward all these years. it just feels like it's so close i can reach out and touch it, but so, so, so far away at the very same time.

it feels unfair that ive been asked (forced rather) to start my life over. right now, im not mourning the loss of my husband, and the love and friendship we had... im just mourning the loss of the established life. im mourning the fact that no matter how far ive come, and no matter how hard ive worked... there is a still a long, and winding road set before me that i hafta travel to reach where i want to be.

i guess i should really just be thankful to have made the progress ive made... but right now? in this very moment? im really not. right now i just feel overwhelmed. and tired of waiting, and tired of working for what i thought i had already.

baseball. hot dogs. sunburns. memories.

so it wasn't until mr. michael barkley came into my world that i started getting to go to like... a zillion rockies games. and ill be honest... i kinda love it. i had never really been to a major league game before, but man! there's something really special about the bright green field, perfectly manicured, and getting to sing "take me out to the ballgame" at the top of your lungs when it's the 7th inning stretch. like, for real. i think it really helps that colorado is to-die-for pretty like... ALL the time, because i find myself enjoying the gorgeous colorado views about as much as i do the game (sometimes more, but shoosh!). since going to the rockies games has become one of my favorite things to do, i figured id share a few pictures...

 

 

okay, first of all- see what i mean about the view? i still cant get enough of the colorado sky. it takes my breath away.

 



 

our seats are on the third level, and i LOVE them! one time we sat on the first level, and i didn't enjoy my time nearly as much as i tend to up here. i have a perfect view of home plate, outfield and the score board. that's money.

 

this was at our very first game together back in late april... or maybe early may. it was whenever the rockies played the braves, and i was super excited to be here. my bf (obviously) is a giant braves fan, and he came decked out head to toe in his braves garb, but i proudly rocked my rockies tshirt and loved EVERY minute of the game! i think it was during the 7th inning that the skies opened, and it began to downpour... hard. so at first we hung around inside, waiting for it to pass. once it became apparent that was probably never going to happen, we decided to make a run for it. well... by "we" i really mean me. i decided we should make a run for it, and so we RAN for blocks and blocks and blocks to the car, and got SOAKED! every inch of our clothing was soaked, and we happily drove home laughing, and giggling and shivering from being so wet!

 

 

game 2. it was a saturday day game, and it was hot as hell when we left. i expected to sweat miserably and so i had my little hat on to block my face a bit (being SO close to the sun here, i burn QUICK) and a sun dress to keep me cool. but in true colorado style, the weather changed on a dime, and by the time we arrived at the ball park, it was cloudy and drizzling. i was happy with that though... i would rather have been a little chilly than sweating my ass off. something really fun about this game was that they gave out free cargo tshirts, and i thought that was nice.

 

 

game 3. not sure what that face is about, but something ive learned is that you never really know what you're gonna get when you hold a camera up to this guy. anyway, this was a friday evening game, and the weather was actually perfect! from start to finish... it was lovely.

 

 

game 4. i hadta steal his hat for a bit because i literally sat there on that upper deck, getting FRIED! by the time this pic was taken, i was hurting pretty bad and clearly decided i should show it in this lovely photo op. lol. this was a sunday day game. i ended up making friends with a fellow burn victim behind me, and borrowing some spf50...  thank god i did! after this game, we went to a delicious eatery downtown called marco's pizza. i HIGHLY recommend paying this little spot a visit. it was delish!

 

 

 

game 5. another evening game, and the weather was perfection. no rain, but a light, cool breeze that kinda made my heart go pitter patter. this game was fun cause i was super excited to get this kick ass rockies hat! whoo hoo! ive never had a baseball hat like this before... im quickly becoming a real rockies fan proffessional... clearly. lol.

 

 

game 6. and i am happy to report this game was special because it was my first rockies win!!!!!! it was a smashing success and i loved every minute of it! i think we closed out with 10-0, killing the dodgers. to say that i was stoaked to win, would be kind of an understatement... let's just say winning really suits me well. lol.

 

 

all in all, id hafta say ive been really blessed to have created so many special and fun memories at the ball park this summer. it's something ive never really done before, and i am so excited to be out there every few weeks. i love the peanuts, the hot dogs, the (mostly) cool breezes, and the memories. we have three more games next month before the season ends, and i really think ill miss coors field this fall/winter. 

 



book of mormon, august 25 2012

i want to start by saying i enjoyed being downtown today... a lot. i feel like i am rarely down there, and i seem to forget how gorgeous it is... how clean it is... how beautiful the old buildings are. to me, there is something really magical about a downtown that has the old, charming, and awesome buildings.

we started the day at the curtis hotel restaurant called the corner office. it was exquisitly decorated, and had this very cool, modern style. i loved it. the hues of cool blues and sassy greens intrigued my eye at every corner, and i enjoyed my surroundings about as much as i did the company and conversation.

the menu was filled with a variety of breakfast foods... all totally posh in both their flavors and their presentation. the french toast was my absolute favorite and if you ever find yourself with an opportunity to go visit the corner office, give it a try. you will not regret it.

here we are happy, and excited to begin our fun-filled day in denver. (i really wish i had taken more pictures of this place to share... whoops.)

the curtis hotel is directly across from the denver performing arts center, and as i stepped outside the view just kind of captured my heart a little. it was an absolutely gorgeous day, and i just knew that the show would be fabulous. i was so excited in fact, i realize now that i managed to document just about each and every moment. :)

 

 

so the show was... too die for. like... amazing. so, so, so funny. and not in a whitty, clever sort of way either. in an, in-your-face-hilarious sort of way. there was no denying or missing this humor. it was fabulously inappropriate at times, heart warming at times... hilarious the whole way through. i knew for sure i would enjoy it, but had no idea what type of hilarity was waiting for me. i guess i had kind of expected it to sort of mock the mormon religion, and i am happy to report that it really didn't. im sure most mormons would find themselves horrified throughout the show for other reasons, but not because they felt personally mocked... just my thoughts i guess. so after literally laughing so hard my face hurt, i decided to do some exploring outside. i just thought the building was so, so pretty. i love to think about all of the amazing moments that must have taken place here... the history is just kind of magical to me.

experiences like today aren't the kind you get to have every day. the musical itself was seriously so, so, so funny. not for the faint of heart, but certainly for the open minded, looking-to-have-a-good-laugh kinda folk. :) the architecture of the performing arts center was beautiful, and it was all around just a really wonderful time. i love making memories like this.

oh and lastly? a giant shout out to my brother and sister-in-law for coordinating such a fun time. we LOVED it!

ps- isn't she the cutest pregnant girl on the planet? like... ever?? i CANT WAIT for my nephew to get here!!!!!!