ill start by saying that i had one of those dreadful, terrible dreams this morning- it woke me from a dead sleep, and in tears. when i think of it now, i find myself still having to fight back tears- even though i know it wasn't real. i dreamt that my mom died. bad, right? and not just that she died, but in the dream, i was having this conversation with her (after she had already passed). we were sitting there, and i was crying and saying to her "i can't believe i didn't take the time to tell you how much i love you. i can't believe i never thought to tell you how much id miss you on christmas. i can't believe i never told you how much id miss opening your bedroom door, to find you sleeping, and inviting me into your bed so that we could talk and take naps together." as i sit here writing about the dream, i still can't help but cry. i hate how dreams do this to me... especially the ones that wake me up in the morning. they seem so real, that even after ive realized i was just dreaming, that emotion is left with me to deal with throughout the entire day. i know i need to lock it in... but i know that at the heart of my angst, im having a tough time even considering a situation where my mom is no longer in my life. she is my best friend, and i don't even want to think of such a thing. so mom.... if you're reading this- please never die. and know that I LOVE YOU soooooooooo much, and that if i ever DO loose you, i will most definitely miss you on christmas's (and every day in between), and i will miss our pillow talks and naps.
anyway! the real reason for my post today is to write about my parents, and their story. tomorrow my lovely mom and dad will celebrate 34 years of wedded bliss. their love is the love i longed to find for so long before meeting my eric. their love is the love i measure all things against. they are the reason i am able to love unconditionally, and know (at least a few things i hope) about how to be a loving and successful wife. they always told me while i was growing up, "when it's right, you'll know" and ill be honest... my response was always a big, fat "yeah right" accompanied with an eye roll that surprisingly enough didn't cause my eye balls to fall right out of their sockets. though i knew their story, and knew it well growing up, i never thought that type of thing could happen more than once. what are the odds? but im so glad they stuck to their guns and kept me holding on to what little bit of hope i had. it's so funny to me the parallels i am now able to draw between their love story and my own.
so what happened was this- my mom and dad had met through a mutual friend and were definitely interested in one another, but nothing ended up happening. mostly because my dad was scared of girls- especially girls like her! my mom was a bit of a wild child, cute as hell, and confident. my dad was shy, really quiet, and im pretty sure had NO idea how to even begin dating a girl like her. after they met that first time, they would talk on the phone a lot. my dad lived a few short hours away, but he always seemed to find a way of making those few short hours stand between taking things to the next step with my mom, and going on a date. it wasn't long before my mom got bored and realized "this guy is never going to make a move!" and moved on. years later, after breaking off an engagement to a guy who im told looked JUST like brad pitt... their paths crossed again. this time though, my mom wasn't about to let him get away so easy. they had five consecutive dates- on the first date, they went for ice cream. in true "karen style" my mom decided she didn't love her ice cream as much as she did his, so she made him switch. :) on their third date they chose my name for the little girl they both were sure they would one day have. on their fifth date, the proposal took place and she said yes. in the song i wrote for them a few years back (ill share that later...) it says that SHE is the one who proposed. not entirely true, but it is in a way... ya see- my mom was pretty clear about what it was she wanted- a marriage and a family. SHE is the one who was the driving force that really caused the proposal. im not saying my dad didn't love her, or that he didn't want to propose, im just saying that he wasn't the type to just "follow his heart" and get down on one knee after 5 dates. i think it took some coaxing. lol. anyway, pretty much right after that 5th date of theirs, my dad was shipped overseas to germany, and my mom stayed back and planned the wedding. he came home just a few short months later, married the girl of his dreams and off they sailed into the sun set.
i think saying that lots of people thought they were kinda crazy is a bit of an understatement. it's not the type of thing that happens often, but once in a blue moon- love will reveal itself to you and it's up to YOU to jump on that train and ride it as long as you possibly can. boy am i glad they did! so funny though, to think about people disagreeing with my mom and dad so long ago. im sure there were whispers, and i know it couldn't have been easy. but "when it's right- you'll know." i think what's most funny to me about the thought of people saying they shouldn't marry all those years ago, is because i see who and what they are now. and because i know that they are the relationship that my husband and i, as well as many of my friends, and other family- have chosen to model our relationships after. i believe that if eric and i could have even a shred of what they have in their marriage, we'd be better and stronger than most.
here we are- 34 years later and they are STILL in love. they are STILL a team. they are STILL solid and happy. my dad STILL can't ever seem to tell her "no" and she STILL thinks he's the cutest guy in the room, no matter what. i love it. so- happy anniversary mom and dad! thank you for giving me such an amazing relationship to model mine after! thank you for showing me what it means to be a spouse. thank you for giving me a home where i had BOTH my parents, always united, and always in love.
a few years ago- when i first moved to nashville and spent most of my time pursuing music, i wrote a song about my mom and dad. this was before i met my eric, and when the wonder of their love just continually intrigued and amazed me. (not that it doesn't still now, but since finding my own "once in a lifetime sorta love" i kinda feel a little less intrigued by their love, and a little more understanding. it's almost like now i feel like we each share an experience that is so similar and so far from what anyone else shares... it's just an understanding i don't think other people get.)
anyway- eric's been trying to figure out how i can upload this song and share it on my blog for you... and im HOPING that will be done by tomorrow to honor them on their special day! but until then... here are the lyrics... (i love you mom and dad!)
their love
she said baby, lets get married. take me to that chapel with the wooden door.
yeah she said maybe this love we're feeling could last a lifetime, and so much more.
and he thought she's crazy, should i laugh out loud? she must be joking, then he heard the sound, of her saying
ill love you forever
till death to us part
ill be forever, isn't this the start
of a love that is perfect, a love that is true?
i will hold you, have you, ill love you,
and so much more.
he said baby, i just met you, i got no money but okay- sure.
yeah he said maybe this love is bigger than all life's problems, maybe we will soar.
and they called them crazy, they laughed out loud, no one thought they'd make it, till they heard the sounds, of them saying
ill love you forever
till death do us part
ill be your forever, isn't this the start
of a love that is perfect, a love that is true?
i will hold you, have you, ill love you,
and so much more
and the world watched in wonder as they danced through their lives
the world watched in wonder as they soared up high, singing
ill love you forever, till death do us part
you're my forever, everyday's the start of a
a love that is perfect, a love that is true
i live to hold you, have you, to love you
more and more
4.15.2011
HELP!
can any of you expert bloggers tell me how i might be able to upload a song of mine onto my blog to share??? eric did some research for me and it all was to no avail. NEED HELP BY TOMORROW!
4.14.2011
this is the life..
so for a long time now ive been unable to send any of my pictures from my cell phone to facebook. it totally stinks! weird thing is? it'll let me send them via email, and it'll let me send them to other people- just not fb. which is no fun at all, because i love to share pics of my little chitlins with all of fb so that they can be jealous of my life. lol. sooo... without further ado... here are some pictures of my favorite 3: carter ross "rossi p!", jenna claire, and sophie.
my magnificent THREE. this is what i do each day... and i love it.
prettiest girl in town. hands down. no joke. this child is a beacon of light on a really dreary, dark day. she loves anything crafty, pretend play, and dressing up. she is the ultimate "girl" and has the sweetest little spirit of anyone ive ever known.
i LOVE this picture! it's just so "them." ross is the funny man- always looking to earn a laugh or a giggle. and jenna claire- so adoringly looking up to her big brother who is just like "so cool" in her mind. i love the way they love each other.
super cute, silly sallies.
rossi p- i just think he is so, so, so good looking! he's the one that keeps me guessing- never know what to expect. he says the most hysterical things, and always has a way of making sense out of what we adults always deem to be very "complicated" situations. SO SMART, and SO FUNNY, he loves anything related to sports- especially hockey and soccer. i just know that he is destined to be someone very, very important in this world.
so sweet. sophie b.
mo-hawk madness! this baby has SO MUCH HAIR! i LOVE it! lately she seems to always manage to get all kinds of icky food in her hair so when i wipe her down, the hair usually gets a wipe down too... which leaves lots of possible style solutions. she's such a little rock star and i love it!
such a pretty little face. (messy from yogurt, of course...) sophie is just so much fun these days! she is growing like a weed! learning so much, so fast! she dances now to any sort of music she hears- even if it's just on one of her little musical toys. i love to watch her bob her head and bounce her chunky little knees. she's not walking just yet but is OH SO CLOSE! she's been cruising for months and probably COULD walk if she wanted, but i think she realizes she is fastest on all fours. :) SUCH a sweet baby, she makes my day!
my magnificent THREE. this is what i do each day... and i love it.
prettiest girl in town. hands down. no joke. this child is a beacon of light on a really dreary, dark day. she loves anything crafty, pretend play, and dressing up. she is the ultimate "girl" and has the sweetest little spirit of anyone ive ever known.
i LOVE this picture! it's just so "them." ross is the funny man- always looking to earn a laugh or a giggle. and jenna claire- so adoringly looking up to her big brother who is just like "so cool" in her mind. i love the way they love each other.
super cute, silly sallies.
rossi p- i just think he is so, so, so good looking! he's the one that keeps me guessing- never know what to expect. he says the most hysterical things, and always has a way of making sense out of what we adults always deem to be very "complicated" situations. SO SMART, and SO FUNNY, he loves anything related to sports- especially hockey and soccer. i just know that he is destined to be someone very, very important in this world.
so sweet. sophie b.
mo-hawk madness! this baby has SO MUCH HAIR! i LOVE it! lately she seems to always manage to get all kinds of icky food in her hair so when i wipe her down, the hair usually gets a wipe down too... which leaves lots of possible style solutions. she's such a little rock star and i love it!
such a pretty little face. (messy from yogurt, of course...) sophie is just so much fun these days! she is growing like a weed! learning so much, so fast! she dances now to any sort of music she hears- even if it's just on one of her little musical toys. i love to watch her bob her head and bounce her chunky little knees. she's not walking just yet but is OH SO CLOSE! she's been cruising for months and probably COULD walk if she wanted, but i think she realizes she is fastest on all fours. :) SUCH a sweet baby, she makes my day!
4.13.2011
i feel like a rockstar when...
i feel like a rockstar when....
1) my husband calls me in the middle of the day, just because.
2) i get to work each morning, and get a great, big, happy smile from my sophie-licious.
3) my house is cleaned from top to bottom, and all of the laundry is clean, folded and put away.
4) i take a shower at night after a long, productive day, get on some fresh, comfy jammies, and lay in my bed.
5) i get home from work, and my bristol is right at the door, wagging and jumping and SO happy to see her mommy!
6) i go to get jenna claire and rossi p from school, and they run to me, jumping in my arms SO excited to tell me about their day!
7) i do something nice for someone else- just because.
8) my mom or dad tell me they are proud of who ive become.
9) i give a gift to someone that took a lot of thought and effort, and can see that they really truly love it!
10) my car is clean. inside and out. all shiny and new looking.
11) it's a cool, spring day and the sun in shining and i ride with the windows down singing at the top of my lungs and dancing like a fool.
12) i go somewhere new where i don't know anyone, but the people there know my husband. i can tell those people are just so jealous, lol.
13) i wear my hubby's ray ban aviators.
14) i finish working out at the gym and have pushed myself further than i ever thought possible.
15) im able to sit down and pay ALL of our bills and STILL have money to spare.
16) i get to talk to my sister-in-law and brother.
17) i complete a long-sought after decorating project and can stand back and feel like it came out good.
18) people who know me... really know me... tell me that im nice.
19) i carry burbs. (how could i NOT?)
20) im able to care for my hubs. re-filling his drinks, baking him his favorite cookies, and making sure he has everything his little heart desires.
1) my husband calls me in the middle of the day, just because.
2) i get to work each morning, and get a great, big, happy smile from my sophie-licious.
3) my house is cleaned from top to bottom, and all of the laundry is clean, folded and put away.
4) i take a shower at night after a long, productive day, get on some fresh, comfy jammies, and lay in my bed.
5) i get home from work, and my bristol is right at the door, wagging and jumping and SO happy to see her mommy!
6) i go to get jenna claire and rossi p from school, and they run to me, jumping in my arms SO excited to tell me about their day!
7) i do something nice for someone else- just because.
8) my mom or dad tell me they are proud of who ive become.
9) i give a gift to someone that took a lot of thought and effort, and can see that they really truly love it!
10) my car is clean. inside and out. all shiny and new looking.
11) it's a cool, spring day and the sun in shining and i ride with the windows down singing at the top of my lungs and dancing like a fool.
12) i go somewhere new where i don't know anyone, but the people there know my husband. i can tell those people are just so jealous, lol.
13) i wear my hubby's ray ban aviators.
14) i finish working out at the gym and have pushed myself further than i ever thought possible.
15) im able to sit down and pay ALL of our bills and STILL have money to spare.
16) i get to talk to my sister-in-law and brother.
17) i complete a long-sought after decorating project and can stand back and feel like it came out good.
18) people who know me... really know me... tell me that im nice.
19) i carry burbs. (how could i NOT?)
20) im able to care for my hubs. re-filling his drinks, baking him his favorite cookies, and making sure he has everything his little heart desires.
4.11.2011
im still alive!
i feel like i haven't blogged in ages! seriously!! lots has gone on in the past week or two that has managed to keep me busy or pre-occupied elsewhere. BUT im here now, and ready to update on life in my world.
1) eric's birthday weekend turned out to be a smashing success! i tried to throw him a surprise party and that didn't really pan out... well- the surprise part didnt, the party part did! i think it's kinda tricky to keep secrets from your spouse... kinda dangerous if you ask me, and when i began to get questioned, i buckled and hadta spill. BUT! it was a fun time none-the-less. i felt blessed to have so many people take time out of their busy lives to come and celebrate my mister. here's a pic of the old man blowing out his over the hill candles- him being THIRTY and all, i thought it was appropriate. :)
so we celebrated the night of his birthday at one of our favorite little hangs up the road- jonny's and then spent the weekend celebrating too. we had a cook out on saturday and ill be honest- it's times like those that i really wish you all lived closer! woulda made the cook out WAY MORE FUN to say the least. :) sunday was spent birthday shopping, where he chose these...
so basically, it was kind of a four day long celebration, which i thought was pretty great! he deserves it. and with his bat-outta-hell mom being m.i.a. and all, i found it totally and completely necessary to go a bit overboard to make sure he felt loved and celebrated. :)
2) eric's been super busy in the evenings doing this little side business thing and though it's pretty awesome that he's been given the opportunity, i kinda hate him being gone all the time. im way too selfish with our time for us, to just feel fine about him leaving 3 - 4 evenings a week. BUT! it's a good opportunity, and will end up making him quite a bit of extra money, and that's kinda hard to pass up so i get it. basically, the old owner of his company also owns this shelving company (as well as several other random companies... weird) and basically what it is, is they go into medical facilities and hospitals and replace the existing shelving (for files) with the nicer, rolling shelves. who woulda thought, right? but pope (the guy who started the company) doesn't really want to deal with the shelving thing anymore because he's like a bah-zillion-are, and an extra 5K here and there is like chump change to him. so he's GIVING THE COMPANY TO ERIC! crazy, right?? so yeah- like i said, obviously a really good opportunity, but i do miss him when he's gone. lately, ill see him for 20 - 30 minutes when i get home from work, and then he's gone. he won't get home till much, much, MUCH later, and usually im konked out sleeping by then. kinda blows, but we're hoping this will be a nice opportunity to save some money, etc.
3) there have been so many ross-isms lately it's hard to remember but a few of his most recent funny-guy statements are as follows:
ross: "ms. maryellen?"
me: "yes ross?"
ross: "who invented the idea of homework?"
me: "hmm, im not sure ross, why?"
ross: "because, id like to have a niiiiiiccccceeeee, looooooooooonnnnngggg chat with THAT guy!"
(he HATES homework!)
he has lately been having quite a bit of trouble blurting out in school. he has been working on this all school year, but after his rendevous in mexico for spring break, he seemed to come back forgetting exactly what was expected, etc. when he gets a "1" (meaning he did a bad job in that particular area for the day), he looses his priveledges at home (tv, computer, video games, etc). so after a week straight with 1's, his dad asked him "ross, if you KNOW you're going to loose your privledges for blurting out, and you KNOW that it's just not going to be good for you in the end, why do you still do it?" and ross said "dad, the best thing i can say to explain it is this- ya know how a guy can get on cigarettes? and he KNOWS that theyre back for him, but he just cant stop and he does it anyway?" and his dad said "yeah." then ross said "well for me- blurting out is my cigarette. i KNOW it's bad for me, but i just cant stop."
this kid has a way of putting things into such perspective. it's so true. and don't we ALL do things that we KNOW are not in our best interest? and yet we demand perfection from our kids... well- not really in this case actually... but you know what i mean. sometimes, i think it's easy to forget that life is just not so black/white. we are quick to say "just stop it! don't do that anymore!" but in reality, it's a lot harder than we remember to realize. never the less- this kid makes me happy. he's so, so, so cute, and sweet and fun to be around. growing like a weed too!
i am a lucky, lucky lady to have this life. i learn something new every single day because ive been given the opportunity to see what life is like through the eyes of a child. i am grateful.
4) lastly, id like to leave you with this little tid-bit... can i just say how lucky i am that i get to come to "work" each day and am greeted by THIS?
gosh i love her!
1) eric's birthday weekend turned out to be a smashing success! i tried to throw him a surprise party and that didn't really pan out... well- the surprise part didnt, the party part did! i think it's kinda tricky to keep secrets from your spouse... kinda dangerous if you ask me, and when i began to get questioned, i buckled and hadta spill. BUT! it was a fun time none-the-less. i felt blessed to have so many people take time out of their busy lives to come and celebrate my mister. here's a pic of the old man blowing out his over the hill candles- him being THIRTY and all, i thought it was appropriate. :)
so we celebrated the night of his birthday at one of our favorite little hangs up the road- jonny's and then spent the weekend celebrating too. we had a cook out on saturday and ill be honest- it's times like those that i really wish you all lived closer! woulda made the cook out WAY MORE FUN to say the least. :) sunday was spent birthday shopping, where he chose these...
so basically, it was kind of a four day long celebration, which i thought was pretty great! he deserves it. and with his bat-outta-hell mom being m.i.a. and all, i found it totally and completely necessary to go a bit overboard to make sure he felt loved and celebrated. :)
2) eric's been super busy in the evenings doing this little side business thing and though it's pretty awesome that he's been given the opportunity, i kinda hate him being gone all the time. im way too selfish with our time for us, to just feel fine about him leaving 3 - 4 evenings a week. BUT! it's a good opportunity, and will end up making him quite a bit of extra money, and that's kinda hard to pass up so i get it. basically, the old owner of his company also owns this shelving company (as well as several other random companies... weird) and basically what it is, is they go into medical facilities and hospitals and replace the existing shelving (for files) with the nicer, rolling shelves. who woulda thought, right? but pope (the guy who started the company) doesn't really want to deal with the shelving thing anymore because he's like a bah-zillion-are, and an extra 5K here and there is like chump change to him. so he's GIVING THE COMPANY TO ERIC! crazy, right?? so yeah- like i said, obviously a really good opportunity, but i do miss him when he's gone. lately, ill see him for 20 - 30 minutes when i get home from work, and then he's gone. he won't get home till much, much, MUCH later, and usually im konked out sleeping by then. kinda blows, but we're hoping this will be a nice opportunity to save some money, etc.
3) there have been so many ross-isms lately it's hard to remember but a few of his most recent funny-guy statements are as follows:
ross: "ms. maryellen?"
me: "yes ross?"
ross: "who invented the idea of homework?"
me: "hmm, im not sure ross, why?"
ross: "because, id like to have a niiiiiiccccceeeee, looooooooooonnnnngggg chat with THAT guy!"
(he HATES homework!)
he has lately been having quite a bit of trouble blurting out in school. he has been working on this all school year, but after his rendevous in mexico for spring break, he seemed to come back forgetting exactly what was expected, etc. when he gets a "1" (meaning he did a bad job in that particular area for the day), he looses his priveledges at home (tv, computer, video games, etc). so after a week straight with 1's, his dad asked him "ross, if you KNOW you're going to loose your privledges for blurting out, and you KNOW that it's just not going to be good for you in the end, why do you still do it?" and ross said "dad, the best thing i can say to explain it is this- ya know how a guy can get on cigarettes? and he KNOWS that theyre back for him, but he just cant stop and he does it anyway?" and his dad said "yeah." then ross said "well for me- blurting out is my cigarette. i KNOW it's bad for me, but i just cant stop."
this kid has a way of putting things into such perspective. it's so true. and don't we ALL do things that we KNOW are not in our best interest? and yet we demand perfection from our kids... well- not really in this case actually... but you know what i mean. sometimes, i think it's easy to forget that life is just not so black/white. we are quick to say "just stop it! don't do that anymore!" but in reality, it's a lot harder than we remember to realize. never the less- this kid makes me happy. he's so, so, so cute, and sweet and fun to be around. growing like a weed too!
i am a lucky, lucky lady to have this life. i learn something new every single day because ive been given the opportunity to see what life is like through the eyes of a child. i am grateful.
4) lastly, id like to leave you with this little tid-bit... can i just say how lucky i am that i get to come to "work" each day and am greeted by THIS?
gosh i love her!
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